A wedding is a ceremony in which two people are united. Wedding traditions and customs vary greatly between cultures, ethnic groups, religions, countries and social classes. Most wedding ceremonies involve an exchange of wedding vows by the couple, presentation of a gift (offering, ring, symbolic item, flowers, money and a public proclamation of marriage by an authority figure or leader. Special wedding garments are often worn, and the ceremony is followed by a wedding reception. Music, poetry, prayers or readings from scripture or literature also may be incorporated into the ceremony.
Nepal having many castes with distinct culture and tradition and wedding traditions vary as per caste and religion. Arrange marriage is very common marriage practice in Nepal.
In arrange marriage parents usually look for the match. It is usually the girl’s parents who look for the boy. When they find an appropriate boy, the girl’s parents go to the boy’s house and put forward their proposal. If the boy’s parents accept the proposal the girl’s parents give some money in the hands of a boy and return. The boy’s parents go to the girl’s house and observe her. If they found bride not good enough they immediately return the money otherwise not. When the marriage is confirmed the girl’s parent put tika on the boy’s parent’s forehead. Then the girl’s father or the main guardian publicly announces the marriage between his daughter and proposed boy. Both parents announce their child reins name for the marriage. This ceremony is called as dudh-daan, which means that boy’s family pays the certain sum of money to the girl’s mother for suckling the milk and upbringing the girl. The custom of giving money is called Jhanga giving. Sometimes the boy stays and works in the house of the girls working for the girls parents before actually marrying her. Some parents who are poor and cannot afford to pay the money to arrange exchange marriage where they exchange sons and daughters. Exchange marriage, therefore, is quite common among Tharus.
On the day of the wedding, a boy needs to undergo a ritual procession for his clan deities. The boy also worships a knife, which he wonderfully has to keep with him throughout the wedding process. After worship is over he along with his kinsfolk and friends gather together and head towards the girls house. The bridegroom has to visit each and every temple in his village and also girl’s village.
When the procession reaches the girls home, the girl’s family organizes a warm reception. The bridegroom is taken before the main door of the house. They then move around grinding stone set and madani and burn oilseed in the fire. After welcome and warm reception bridegroom is taken inside the house. The people read aloud the name of a temple. Then the groom is taken to the people who have come for the procession and has to spend the night there. People sing, dance and enjoy with local women.
At dawn, the groom leaves the company and returns home and waits for the bride to be taken to him. The bride is sent only after the moonrise or after dusk. The bride is put on a Do and carried towards the groom’s house. The bride is given a poison and a butter lamp. This is given because if someone tries to attack and capture her she should run away with the help of lamp and if she could not escape away she should drink poison and die. This was mainly practiced by the Rana Tharus and copied by others.
By some reason, if the bridegroom cannot go to the bride’s house he can send the knife as his representative.
As soon as the bride reaches the groom’s house, female members of the groom welcome her with a pot full of glowing embers, a lamp, a water pot (Kalash) and cottonseeds. They throw rice over the bride and the groom who has joined her recently. The groom then sprinkles some vermilion powder Sindur over the knife, which he has carried with him and then on the bride’s forehead. Both the bride and grooms head is lightly knocked with each other thrice and finally, they enter the house. They both go the Deurhar of the family where the groom sticks his knife into the ground. Then a short ritual is followed and both worship altar of the clan deity.
The bride takes a bottle of liquor, a straw mat, and a pig’s head when she returns back to her natal home. The bridegroom’s family members also accompany her and pay respect to the bride’s family members. This is called the exchange of kinship relations or Nata Pherne in Tharu dialect. The bride stays in her natal house for two to three years more. Then finally she goes and lives with the husband and his family.
Divorce is common and simple among Tharus. If a brother dies his widow can get married to the deceased person younger brother. If younger brother is not available then the mother-in-law and father-in-law find a good match for their widow daughter-in-law and send her with the person and treat the women as their daughter and her new husband as a son. This is called entering Bhwar.
Please note: Wedding venue and destination will be fixed at Kathmandu or Pokhara or Chitwan as per the interest and type of wedding you want to perform. If wedding venue is in Kathmandu than the Honeymoon program will be at Pokhara and Chitwan or if wedding venue is in Chitwan, then the Honeymoon will be in Pokhara or vice versa.
Day 01: Arrival in Kathmandu and rest,
Day 02: Wedding shopping in Kathmandu as per the pre-finalized shopping list for bride and groom,
Day 03: Decoration and setting of Bride and groom house/ Jungle activities/ local sightseeing,
Day 04: Wedding Ceremony with evening party to invite/ bride and groom relative and guests,
Day 05: Honeymoon trip to Pokhara or Chitwan,
Day 06: Local sightseeing/ Jungle activities,
Day 07: Visit Groom House,
Day 08: Drive back to Kathmandu,
Day 09: UNESCO world heritage site tour,
Day 10: UNESCO World Heritage site tour/ drive to Nagarkot,
Day 11: Final Departure.
Note: Detailed itinerary will be forwarded to you once booking is confirmed as per the wedding custom and culture.